I like classical music and I like playing the piano, so you'd think that I love playing classical music on the piano. The truth is... it's complicated.

I began playing as a young teenager because I was in love with classical music I heard on a piano. Tinkering around trying to figure those songs out by ear was super fun. Once I could play a few things, people thought I might have a natural talent, and they began giving me classical lessons. Sometimes it was fun and interesting, but sometimes it felt laborious. With some pieces I ran into a wall and couldn't get the hang of the song no matter how many times I played it. Soon enough, anyone who thought I might have a natural talent was convinced that I didn't, and the frequency with which I touched a piano trended towards zero.

Years later I found an amazing deal on a digital piano at a thrift store and decided to get back into it, picking up some classical songs I had abandoned long ago. This time would be different. I am much older and more mature now, so I will have the patience, I thought to myself. After a few weeks of not being able to get through a single page of Bach, I felt like something was wrong.

You see, I loved playing piano. I liked the feeling of creating music, of having my fingers go across the keys. But I thought, how am I ever going to get better if I don't work my way through these classics, like everyone else? Then I decided, why do I care? Why do I need to prove to myself or anyone else that I can play these classics?

So I put away all the sheet music and just played around with different sounds, chords and rhythms. At first it was mainly random noises or tiny riffs. But after a few months I really began to enjoy creating songs and improvising, and before long I had over a dozen little clips I was proud of.

I felt like this taught me something powerful about getting stuck in mind traps about the certain way that things must be done. In certain disciplines, when the stakes are high, it's probably best to trust the experts. But for our hobbies, why limit ourselves trying to emulate the trajectory of others? Everyone can create their own unique path. I know I'm not good at piano in the traditional sense (or even the non-traditional sense 😅), but I feel good while I'm doing it and I feel like I've never loved playing piano more.